Learning Spanish

We knew from the beginning we were going to have to improve our Spanish skills past “que hora es?” and “donde vas?”. We could order in a Mexican restaurant and ask where the bathroom is. Just enough to maybe get your point across as a tourist on a very short trip. Neither of us could really communicate. As many times as we’ve complained about people around here not speaking English: you know, the arrogant “If you’re going to live in MY country then learn to speak MY language!”, we figured there was no way we could respect ourselves if we went to live in Mexico without speaking Spanish.

I looked all over the internet, and it seems that a) everyone wants to charge alot of money -or- b) their site is so badly designed it is virtually unusable. I did find one site that offered 6 free lessons of the Foreign Service Institute course and signed up for those. I liked them, but I’m cheap and didn’t want to pay full price. I almost never do. There’s always a bargain to be had if you look hard enough.

Next, I went to our favorite source for hard copy books, Half Price Books. I chose a selection of tapes, software, and flashcards to try. Got out of the store for less that $20. Only some of that was money well spent.

The flashcards are great. It’s a big box. Apparently they’re an old teaching set meant to be used in a second grade classroom. Those must have been some kind of genetically-enhanced, super-bright second graders, because the words are HARD. Some of them are reeaaallly long, and none are less than 8 letters. Lots of syllables. And man, some obscure words. Sometimes I feel like I’m studying to do the Spanish version of the New York Times crossword puzzle. The really hard one that comes out on Sunday. But Chuck and I are having lots of fun quizzing each other, and we’re getting pretty good with some weird vocabulary.

The software is kinda fun. There’s lots of games aimed at vocabulary building, and you can talk into a microphone and have it repeated back so you can hear your pronunciation. There are two problems: 1) it’s Windows based software. I keep my laptop dual booting for things like this that absolutely require Windows, but I have to reboot and its a pain. 2) It doesn’t actually teach you Spanish. It’s a good supplement, but doesn’t solve our problem.

The tapes are pretty much a bust for me. They go very fast and don’t give you much chance to practice before moving on to something else. Another problem is they’re cassette tapes. I haven’t listened to one in years and had forgotten how loud the background white noise is. It really interferes with my ability to hear exactly what they are saying. Trying to do that while driving in traffic just doesn’t work for me. If you miss something, you have to find the rewind button, wait while it rewinds, then hit play, hoping you backed up far enough. I guess I should count my blessings that we both drive American cars and have cassette players at all.

Having struck out three times, we went to Barnes and Noble. We looked at audio CD’s. There are a BUNCH to choose from. I looked at the Foreign Service Institute package, but it was $80 for just the first course. My cheap reflex puckered and we looked at the other CD’s. We narrowed it down to 4 and then played eenie meenie minie moe. $16.95. OK, we’ll give it a try.

The CD’s turned out to have the same drawbacks as the tapes, too fast, not enough practice, hard to understand. The V’s sound like B’s and T’s sound like D’s. I know this is an aspect of the Spanish language, but I would like some shot at it if I see the word written. And as an added bonus, they added lots of weird sound effects in an effort to make it more fun. The sounds made it a little hard to drive, but the affect they had on the dog made it nearly impossible. Every time one would sound, Reku would stand up in the back seat, spin around, and start barking. Reku is not an extremely large dog, but he has an extremely large bark. Try driving down the highway with a dog whirling like a dervish in your backseat and cacophonous barking reverberating off your windows at you, and see how long it takes you to get pulled over. At least I got the skip backward functionality of a CD.

It was time to revisit my thoughts about how much that FSI course was worth. It was only $197 and I had already wasted $25. I had to recreate my searches because I didn’t bother bookmarking the page and forgot the company was called Learning Like Crazy. I finally found it and read the material again. It seemed a little too slick. You know, a little too well marketed. I kept getting flashes of Ron Popeil.

The business is owned by a guy named Patrick Jackson. His name is all over the website. After the sales pitch, he says that if you have any reservations at all, to give him a call on his personal phone line and gives a telephone number. I thought, “yeah, right.” But it was a lazy Sunday morning and I was in one of those moods, so I picked up the phone and dialed. I was expecting four rings, then a message from a very professional feminine voice apologizing that the office was closed, and welcoming me to call back during regular business hours. Instead, after two rings, Patrick Jackson himself answered the phone. On a Sunday morning. I could tell that he wasn’t all ready to deal with business. The vestiges of sleep lingered around the edges of his voice. But he pulled himself together valiantly and answered all of my questions very well. Turns out he is a small business owner just like me. We chatted as he processed my order and made my downloads available. It was a smooth process and I hung up feeling good about my purchase.

I got my downloads, and a few things he had to send to me on CD. I am very happy. The courses teach Spanish step by step in a way that is easy to learn. They give you plenty of chance to practice. There is also a written transcript of each audio course, so I can see exactly which words are being are said. I now know if its a B or V at the beginning of the word. It’s really a relief. I was starting to get that knot of fear in my gut that maybe I couldn’t do this. But I’ve been using the course for a couple of weeks now and I think learning Spanish is going to be a breeze.

I even got an insults course and a vulgar insults course. I don’t plan on using them, but I think it will be nice to know what I’m being called if the occasion arises. The vulgar insults are pretty funny. The audio on the CD was done by people who speak VERY correct and proper English and they say some really very foul things. It’s kinda like listening to the Queen of England trying to blend in with a group of longshoremen. That alone was worth at least half of the price.