I woke up this morning much earlier than I wanted, but Tasha was well rested and refreshed and ready to play. Not in a particularly good mood, I sat at my desk and gazed out the window at a leaden ocean and slate sky, an indifferent start to the day that matched my mood. My hand wandered around my desk until it found my ChapStick. I started to put some on and that's when I realized something was definitely wrong.
The ChapStick felt weird on my lips, and with good reason: there is a chunk missing! A bite sized chunk, WITH TEETH MARKS. And, ew, it's already TOUCHED MY LIPS.
I wrestle my mind back from the edge of freak out and start to analyze the situation. I used the ChapStick before I went to bed last night, and it was normal then. It definitely had no teeth marks. I look at the cap, both inside and outside, thinking maybe I caught part of the balm with the cap when I put it back on the tube. Nope. The cap is clean inside and out. I'm really starting to get disturbed.
The odds of someone sneaking into the house are pretty slim to begin with. We have recently added cameras and alarmed all of the doors. Plus, there are the two very menacing and territorial dogs that roam the house freely. And what's that third thing? Oh yeah...what kind of crazy person would sneak in just to nosh on the minty goodness of my lip balm?
So my rational mind tells me that there was no bizarre ChapStick pervert slinking through Mazatlan last night. But the evidence, ie: the TEETH MARKS (yes, I find it absolutely necessary to use caps here, I mean, come on, there are TEETH MARKS) very clearly illustrates that there is. What other explanation can there be?
Was there a fight? Did part of it decide to secede? Did the cap get hungry? Did I buy magical evaporating ChapStick? Do we have ghosts? Did the leader get called back to it's home planet? Can you come up with an explanation better than a ChapStick pervert?
Now my ChapStick is on the list of things that go into the bedroom with us at night for safe keeping, because you can never be too sure. That would be the new tube, because this one is going straight into the trash.
Comments
Umm, did they look like dog teeth marks? Mouse?
I'm not really sure what mouse teeth marks look like. I know they weren't dog (at least not my dogs). Either way, I can't see an animal being so kind as to replace the cap, thus tricking me into using the ChapStick. ;-)
Ummmm, would a resident gecko think to replace the cap before slinking off into a dark corner, to watch your reaction? For that matter, since it was early morning, and you didn't mention an infusion of caffeine before reaching for the tube.... are you sure you remember actually removing the cap before smearing Bite Mark Chap Stick?? Yah, I'd haul that tube into the bedroom each night, too.... can't be too careful when there's a Chap Stick monster on the loose! ;-}
That would be just like those mischievous geckos!
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