Seriously?!? That was all I could say. (Yes, I watch too much Grey's Anatomy.) Actually, I did have another choice phrase that was oft repeated, but I would never embarrass myself by putting it here, in writing, for the whole world to see. I like to pretend I don't use that kind of language. So what caused my verbal eloquence? I was stung by a bee - again. Seriously.
I must be in serious dutch with the karma gods. I need to figure out why and make penance. I went my entire life without a single bee sting, and now, since we moved to Mazatlan, I have been stung a whopping three times.
On Wednesday, I decided to play hooky. A girlfriend and I went to the beach to enjoy some sun and forget about the pressure of deadlines for a few hours. I thought I deserved it, but karma evidently emphatically disagreed.
While we were sitting with our toes in the sand and marveling at the rare seagulls circling overhead, a bee landed on my leg. I learned from my last bee encounter and didn't automatically brush at the tickling sensation on my thigh. Although every instinct in my head was screaming, "kill! Kill! KILL!", I managed to let the bee be and wait for him to move on.
Problematically, the bee didn't seem very interested in moving on. He seemed to be enjoying the new terrain he discovered and moved from my thigh to my shorts in eager exploration. As I was considering my options, our waiter came to the table to check on us. Of course, I looked up at him. After he left, I looked back down – and had absolutely no idea where the bee went. I hoped he had left, but started a careful inspection and yowie zowie – I found him. High up under my arm, almost in my arm pit. He must have been inside my sleeve. Man, that hurts.
After administration of copious amounts of Benadryl, Chuck came to escort me home. My arm was starting to swell alarmingly and quickly. I couldn't drive. After a few hours, I had one Bruce Banner arm and Hulk arm. Seriously. It swelled up to three times its normal size.
My arm has swelled so much that when in a totally relaxed position, it sticks out from my body at a 45 degree angle. Aside from being painful and looking ludicrous, this position presents some other issues. Have you ever tried to walk through the average Mexican doorway with your arm protruding at a 45 degree angle? You haven't? Go ahead. I'll wait.
See the problem?
For comfort and physical restrictions, I have three options for arm positioning. Option #1: put my hand on my hip. in which case I look like a perpetually perturbed over-the-hill prostitute. Option #2: hold my arm out and bent at the elbow, great if you need a passenger who can signal all of your right turns for you, but otherwise completely stupid. Option #3: arm out with hand tucked behind my head. This one gives me a sassy Mae West feel, but tends to garner memorable looks from strangers. And I won't even discuss the body contortions required to find a remotely comfortable position to sleep.
I have opted for previously unmentioned option #4: staying at home. In the dark. Where absolutely no one can see me. I will venture out when I am no longer deformed.
Seriously.
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|189.174.168.xxx |m-d-Y H:i:s mazsilvaWhat a year you have had and now this in the new one, here hoping that this event is the last of it for this year!
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|SAdministrator |m-d-Y H:i:s jenniferI have to admit that this happened December 30th, so it was last year. I held the post because of the need for blood. I didn't want to knock that off the top spot while Philip still needed blood. So there is still hope for this year. So far, so good.
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